Top 10 Tells of a Good Husband


Male-Female-SymbolNow I know that it is dangerous to walk the waters of male vs female but seriously the How to Pick the Perfect Wife by our resident stirrer OM just begs for a response in a timely manner.  So ladies and those gents who would like an inside track here is the Top 10 Tells of a Good Husband.

  1. When you arrive 15 minutes late for drinks he’s not a) checking his watch, b) checking out the singles action, c) not chugging his 5th drink.  All of these indicate a short attention span that doesn’t bode well for long-term relationships.
  2. When faced with the parental meeting he asks what he should wear – this indicates knowledge of clothing armour and camouflage and the fact that it may be needed during the evening – points there.
  3. When going somewhere he isn’t familiar with in his car he doesn’t turn purple and start shaking at the suggestion of you driving.  If he can hand the keys over with a minimum of whimpering and only some rolling of the eyes then you need to view this man with an eye to purchase.
  4. When asked to purchase feminine hygiene products the keeper male will refuse utterly on the basis that make-up, wax and general female stuff is none of his business.  This is a good thing – you never want the man you love being aware of just what goes into keeping up appearances.
  5. When you are sick and not looking your best husband material man will send flowers and text/email regularly and most importantly kindly stay away until you no longer look like part of a zombie horde.
  6. When conversing with his mother the keeper male will have affection laced with the glazed get me off the line look once she starts on what he is planning to cook himself for dinner.  The overly respectful male with the hint of fear and complete attention to the mother on the phone is one to run from at all possible speed as she will be moving into your house whether she lives there or not if you married one of those.
  7. Shoes – don’t look at me like that, shoes.  Any guy that thinks flip-flops are appropriate dating wear goes in the same category as the white slip on vinyl loafer wearer.  Be afraid, be very afraid.
  8. When asked about the decor of his apartment the keeper man will look around blankly and say ‘huh just got it on one of those all in one purchase things’.  You do not want a husband who has an interest in how the home is decorated – you may have to compromise with him and that is just no good at all for a balanced interior.
  9. When you offer to make dinner the keeper male will be utterly charmed even if you produce scrambled eggs, the fact he didn’t have to do it will outweigh anything else.  You do not want a husband who will judge your dish and compare it to the one he made the previous night in an effort to help you grow as a cook.
  10. When it comes to going shopping the keeper male will react with a mild panic quickly eased by you saying –  ‘do you want me to pick up a few things for you?’  His atm card or cash is gladly handed over once the threat of shopping is taken off the table and is more than happy for you to brave the mall.  You don’t want a male who plans shopping trips with coffee breaks to make sure you see all the shops – that’s something you save to do with your girlfriends.

 

 

68 thoughts on “Top 10 Tells of a Good Husband

  1. I must admit that, while I wholeheartedly agreed with many of these keeper male tips, I do adamantly disagree with #4. A man who would make me run to the store with rolls of toilet paper stuffed into my panties when I’ve forgotten that I’ve run out of tampons and I wake up to my monthly visitor on full blast is not keeper material to me.

    Now, if I don’t have to remind him EVERY SINGLE TIME exactly what he’s getting, I might be slightly disturbed that he’s a little TOO interested, but he should love me enough, and be secure enough within himself, to pick up whatever I may need. If I’ve got to buy him hemorrhoid cream, tolerate his gnarly baseball feet in my bed at night, oh and deal with the horrifying smells and sights of the baseball uniform, he can pick me up a box of tampax. lol

    Liked by 2 people

      • LOL trust me, so do I…after a tournament, sometimes the baseball uniform should have it’s own zip code entirely! Unfortunately for me, we live in a one bedroom basement apartment, and share the laundry room with the folks upstairs…sooooo if I don’t want to get to the laundry the second we walk through the door, if its rancid enough it stays in the garage…

        But eventually I have to suck it up and confront the damned thing, to get it washed before the next game. Always makes me wish I had a biohazard suit :/ *sighs*

        Liked by 2 people

  2. Actually, your #10 suggests that it is YOU who is the ideal female!

    With #8, the feminine requirement for a plethora of useless decorative cushions that make seating uncomfortable is a human rights violation of the U.N. Declaration of the Rights of Man. (I think, going from memory.)

    Fun post. Thank you.

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  3. I agree entirely about the footwear. The ONLY first date footwear for me would be brown, leather lace-ups. All else-trainers, loafers, baseball boots, biker boots-all a no-no. Luckily Husband was foot-dressed appropriately when we met [lucky for him, I mean!] 😉

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    • Good to footwear observance is still out there and strong – there is just something a little off about the vinyl slip on (other than the fact the it is vinyl of course). If a man dresses to impress then first date attire is a good gauge of character as a rule.

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  4. That was really cute, thanks for writing it.

    This cracked me up,
    “You do not want a husband who has an interest in how the home is decorated – you may have to compromise with him and that is just no good at all for a balanced interior.”

    Okay, so my house looks like an old fashioned rum room that would make a great back drop for a pack of pirates. I have done my best to feminize the place, but “compromising” with old whisky kegs just doesn’t lend its self to creating a “balanced interior.” Some smart alec came over and said, “I know who wears the eye patch in this family.” Yes, well I know where we hide the bodies..

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    • Oh dear in that case it may be worth just going with it since like you I can see no possible way for it to be anything other than a shanty for pirates. I would insist on a spot somewhere that is pirate free so that you could run and hide when the swashbuckling gets too loud.

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  5. A must read for both husband and wife. I have so much flaws I don’t know where to begin but though truth hurts, it opens our hearts and eyes to the things that matters to us and our love ones. Inspiring post!

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  6. As I was reading this, I was checking off the list to see if my husband is a keeper after all – luckily he isn’t a fan of the white vinyl loafer…yuck! Do men actually wear these? And likewise, I can’t tolerate the sight of a man in flip flops – especially when worn with socks!

    You know what, I think I’ve picked a winner and I’ve had a lucky escape – my husband isn’t all that fussed about what I cook for him, he doesn’t care what I do with the house, he doesn’t spend more time doing his make up than me and his face doesn’t ever go purple in the car…if anything he is too chilled out. I won’t be trading him on just yet!

    Really enjoyed this post – thank you!

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    • You’d be surprised how many people have actually done the list – I told them that a) for fun and b) anything over 4/10 as long as it included the mother-in-law point would be great. Strangely most agree with the shoes as well.

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  7. Jenni, what a wonderful post, I found it informative and funny , and with a lot of truth thrown in. Having been married for 37+ years I have managed to pass most of those benchmakrs, but still need training in others, So thank you. Also thank you for stopping by my blog and deciding to follow. I am curious as to what drew you to my blog and caught your interest. Smiling, like being a good hubby i want to find ways to continue to interest you. Again thanks take care, Bill

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    • In all honesty I’ve been trying to increase my readership and at the same time find blogs and people that are of interest and/or fun so I used the recommended by blogs I follow function of WP. I liked yours and added it not just to the follow list but to receive emails when you post something new. It may take me a few days to get through some of the ones that have piled up over the past couple of days [been sick flu blahhh] but I will get to your work soon I hope. Jenni.

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  8. #1 – Don’t be 15 minutes late for a date, unless you can’t help it because of traffic – a phone call or text would be polite – don’t just be 15 minutes late just because you feel like it, with an entitlement princess mentality, thinking he has no right to be getting impatient with you when you’re a quarter hour late, because that’s just being self-centred, which you wouldn’t want in a husband, so why tolerate it in yourself?

    #8 – A ‘balanced interior’ would be exactly that: balanced between the tastes in décor of both spouses, not just one’s predominating… A man shouldn’t have to feel that his décor tastes have to be confined to a ‘man cave’, garage, or workshop or shed; the house belongs to both spouses, so both should have a say in the décor.

    #9 – Nobody, not even a bachelor like me, wants to have very little variety in the food we eat; that gets boring. A wife should indeed grow in her kitchen skills, over the course of her marriage; I know my own mother’s cooking always has, and hasn’t even stopped in her grey-hair years; she still likes to learn how to cook new things. Hopefully the husband can cook a bit, too, even if mostly breakfast or the barbecue / grill.

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    • 1. It was tongue in cheek.
      2. Please … if you run late from time to time [both parties] you should have to worry about what’s happening with the waiting party.
      3. Decorating – sorry I don’t like to share, my husband has his own personal space which I decorated to his specification but the rest of the house is mine to play with.
      4. The point was having a man who appreciates the effort and doesn’t try to make you feel like you’re being graded on your performance in the kitchen. It wasn’t about showing the range of a person’s skill. Personally I love to cook and dining at my house is like going to a restaurant except I serve people not mice size portions. My other half can cook and if I’m busy or feeling under the weather he makes dinner for us but I prefer to do it normally.
      5. You don’t have to agree – you’re a guy & this was just pointing out some of the tells that women could apply if they wanted – once again mainly tongue in cheek.

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      • Ah.

        I don’t get your and your husband’s arrangement re your décor, but that’s your business; I certainly wouldn’t want any married house I’m living in to look mostly like her tastes in common areas like the living room, dining room, hallways, bathrooms, bedrooms, rather than something both parties can feel comfortable with, but that’s just me.

        I indeed would hope that a husband isn’t a tyrant, making his wife’s efforts in cooking feel un- or underappreciated, and I would hope that if she’s putting in some effort, if he’s a reasonable sort, he’d be appreciative.

        Cheers.

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      • I think that the fact that I’m not the overly frilly frothy style of female is why Michael doesn’t have an issue with my decor – I do ask his opinion if it is a big thing like wall colour etc but the choices to make will come from a list I’ve already narrowed down to about 5 or 6 to choose from.

        Thanks for coming to visit here at U&U I always enjoy the visitors who like to comment – it’s what makes blogging so much fun.

        As you may see from my last post I’m have a time out today as I’m a little sick so if I don’t reply to any further comments for a couple of hours it’s not because I’m being rude and ignoring you it’s because I’m just not 100% today. But feel free to leave your thoughts on the other posts and I’ll be back answering by tonight I hope. Jenni 🙂

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  9. Although I love them all, #8 gave me an especially good chuckle. So true! When my hubby and I first got married, we fought tooth and nail over the decor. It was killer. 15 years later, things have calmed down; I’ve realized I can’t decorate and he’s realized he doesn’t want to fight about it. Our home is a blank canvas.

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  10. I was pleasantly surprised to find out I was a keeper, not perfect, but I passed. Before I read this, I thought my marriage of 25 years was because my wife had a high tolerance for man induced pain.

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    • Trust no woman would stay with a man for 25 years unless she loved him, keeper or not!! Good to know however that you pass – It was tongue in cheek but seriously anything over 4/10 and the guy is pretty impressive in my opinion. Thanks for dropping by. Jenni

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  11. Your ” Good Husband ” blog is hilarious . My husband is TRULY a keeper though. He wrote a book on marriage for goodness sake : http://www.ordinary-guy.com .
    It is called Ordinary Guy – Extraordinary Marriage but let me assure you he is NO ordinary man.
    He is an incredible husband, great dad, funny, good looking …and he was even my opening act for my concert this past weekend. I could go on and on. Lots of fun when we’re together…..

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fun is what carries people through difficult times, shared humour and joy are a wonderful combination and I understand just how you feel.

      My husband makes me laugh more than anyone else I know and for that I can overlook the times I feel the need to drop heavy objects on his head [and I’m sure he feels the same in return].

      Thanks for the link to his site. Jenni

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  12. Pingback: Encouragement, Joyful Living and Picking a Husband. It’s #FF – Feature Friday! | That Dizzy Chick

  13. Great post!!! Agree with you completely about not wanting the husband to be interested in home decorating!!ohhh the arguments that could lead to! Haha:) keep up the great posts! Thanks for following me!!

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  14. Thanks for the follow. Self scoring on this list I am pretty sure I can crack six…I’ll show it to my wife and get the actual score.

    It would be fun to think about a similar list but from the perspective of a couple 10 or 15 years into a good marriage. What are the things you would never want to be without?

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  15. Pingback: Encouragement, Joyful Living and Picking a Husband. It's #FF - Feature Friday! - Carrie-Anne Foster

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