Well it has been a bit of wild ride the last few days and folks I’m not talking about all the fun stuff that’s been happening here at Unload and Unwind. That place of infinite mess and fuss known as The Real World has been giving me a whirl worthy of the most terrifying, stomach churning theme park ride and extravaganza. All of which is of course the norm so to speak but add in sisters going postal, ex-husbands needing to chat, old rivalries raising their fearsome gaze and turning in my direction it just seems that The Fates have decided that my life needed a little shaking up.[yeah thanks for that fate]
Just when I thought the worst was over I managed all on my little ownsome to quite possibly light a fuse worthy of Guy Fawkes. Do you ever feel there are times when you open your mouth only to change feet? Well recently I know the feeling so well that I’m considering installing a shoe rack just for practicality behind my molars. Worse yet it is one of those messes that will likely not turn out well for ALL concerned.
I do feel however it was not all my fault as I was operating under a misunderstanding of who had what information and why. However I am sure that good intentions [oh yes I’ve been paving the way to hell today] will not be enough to stem the tide of the shitstorm approaching on the horizon. I doubt even Hercules’s and his efforts at the Augean stables could do much about this.
So in case of possible cataclysmic events, the kind that only family can cause I feel I should warn you that should you feel any rumblings in the earths crust it is merely the continent of Australia being sunk under the weight of neurosis, hurt feelings, back stabbing, bad mouthing, secret planning and vengeful plotting. Should I cease to post it will be for one of three reasons:
- A posses of pissed off persons arrived at on my doorstep and took me to a shallow grave or crocodile swamp, no doubt while I was still alive.
- Australia has truly been reduced to rubble by the force of all the hot air that will be brought to bear in short order
- I’ve done the sensible thing and faked my own death and gone to live on a mountain, that being the case I will be back but under a different name but you will recognise me by code name Harbinger of the Apocalypse.
Well we can but wait and see but I am giving serious consideration to option three at this point – as long as I have access to the internet, a laptop and a line to a food store that delivers it seems to me to be a reasonable solution. Those say running away never solves anything have not seen my extended family in full drama mode. There is a reason I live very quietly and far away but even up here may not be far enough. The only reason I won’t run is it would leave someone I love smack bang in the middle of a epic battle the likes of which probably sank Atlantis. I really should have remembered that: