One of THOSE Days


theme park rideWell it has been a bit of wild ride the last few days and folks I’m not talking about all the fun stuff that’s been happening here at Unload and Unwind. That place of infinite mess and fuss known as The Real World has been giving me a whirl worthy of the most terrifying, stomach churning theme park ride and extravaganza.  All of which is of course the norm so to speak but add in sisters going postal, ex-husbands needing to chat, old rivalries raising their fearsome gaze and turning in my direction it just seems that The Fates have decided that my life needed a little shaking up.[yeah thanks for that fate]

Just when I thought the worst was over I managed all on my little ownsome to quite possibly light a fuse worthy of Guy Fawkes. Do you ever feel there are times when you open your mouth only to change feet? Well recently I know the feeling so well that I’m considering installing a shoe rack just for practicality behind my molars.  Worse yet it is one of those messes that will likely not turn out well for ALL concerned.

agean 2I do feel however it was not all my fault as I was operating under a misunderstanding of who had what information and why.  However I am sure that good intentions [oh yes I’ve been paving the way to hell today] will not be enough to stem the tide of the shitstorm approaching on the horizon.  I doubt even Hercules’s and his efforts at the Augean stables could do much about this.

So in case of possible cataclysmic events, the kind that only family can cause I feel I should warn you that should you feel any rumblings in the earths crust it is merely the continent of Australia being sunk under the weight of neurosis, hurt feelings, back stabbing, bad mouthing, secret planning and vengeful plotting.  Should I cease to post it will be for one of three reasons:

  1. A posses of pissed off persons arrived at on my doorstep and took me to a shallow grave or crocodile swamp, no doubt while I was still alive.
  2. Australia has truly been reduced to rubble by the force of all the hot air that will be brought to bear in short order
  3. I’ve done the sensible thing and faked my own death and gone to live on a mountain, that being the case I will be back but under a different name but you will recognise me by code name Harbinger of the Apocalypse.

Well we can but wait and see but I am giving serious consideration to option three at this point – as long as I have access to the internet, a laptop and a line to a food store that delivers it seems to me to be a reasonable solution.  Those say running away never solves anything have not seen my extended family in full drama mode. There is a reason I live very quietly and far away but even up here may not be far enough.  The only reason I won’t run is it would leave someone I love smack bang in the middle of a epic battle the likes of which probably sank Atlantis. I really should have remembered that:foot in mouth

37 thoughts on “One of THOSE Days

  1. Jenni, your posts are like the little sun that peeps out from behind a cloud on dark,dismal days, or for that matter, any day….lifts up the spirit and makes me smile, giggle, laugh….!!!! Your blog is an everyday ‘must read’ for me!

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  2. Oh no, good luck Jenni – I put my foot in it all of the time, it’s hideous. Things will work themselves out I’m sure and eventually the raw emotions will calm 🙂

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    • I really am considering the life of a hermit. You know the problem with rejoining the world – people want to TALK to you about stuff. Can’t they just email – less chance of foot in mouth disease there. 😦

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      • If they want to talk, that must mean that you are a good listener, perhaps? Interesting you should mention hermit. I’ve encountered several people in the last year who have considered it or have withdrawn from the rabble. I myself think I fell into “hermitage” without realizing it. It has it’s merits!

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      • It does but I would miss so much and I have already missed a great deal because of the years where I was unwell and hiding from the world. I’m just a ‘little’ overwhelmed with everyone deciding I’m the one they need to tell things too. HOW on earth did that happen I ask you?

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    • Ah well – we shall just have to wait. It feels a bit like that scene in The Return of The King where Gandalf and Merry are waiting for the battle to begin. [and honest not really exaggerating that much]

      Sorry I haven’t had a chance to catch up with your posts for a few days but – families what can you do? Will be getting to reading everything in the next few days. Jenni

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  3. Have you seen the play/movie “August:Osage County”? If your family is not in as bad a state as that one, you’ll work it out. If your family is worse than that, option three is sounding better by the minute…

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    • [ponders this and crawls out from under bed] Well not so bad but we would give Gerald Durrell – My Family & Other Animals a run for their money. I just don’t how I suddenly became the one that EVERYONE wants to talk to. [ponders bed decides lounge is more comfy plus will see them coming] It was nice of you to provide a little perspective however – thanks.

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  4. Oh dear! So sorry to hear that you’ve unintentionally caused a ‘situation’. I hope all turns out well, and if necessary, please remember I’m in your corner, should you need reinforcements! 🙂

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    • Thank you – in a weird way it may actually be for the best. There’s been someone playing games behind the scenes with all of us and this may actually put an end to it. The only reason I figured it out is I’ve somehow become the one everyone talks too so those who aren’t talking to each other speak to me and it means I found a lot of things that don’t add up and one person always around at the time. As long as I survive the initial explosion – of course if they’re smart they won’t blow up since it will hurt them more I just don’t know if they realise that or not. Sounds dramatic – sadly it is and someones been having fun playing games for a little too long – it feeds their own insecurity.

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  5. Don’t run away…We will miss your funny ramblings too much! Oh, and like you say, running away never solved anything! Unless, you’re running away from something with sharpe teeth, but that’s another story!

    Wishing you good luck, I’ll be thinking of you!

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    • [comes out from under bead] Thanks [looks furtively around] maybe just maybe if nothing happens today then it might mean common sense prevailed – although we will still have to wait and see. [scurries back under bed].

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      • Oh you do make me laugh. For the time being, I advise you stay under that ‘bead’…silly questions, but is this australlian for bed? Hehe

        In all seriousness though…I hope all goes okay!

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      • Have no shame. I make typos 90% of the time. I make a habit of rereading everything I write so I can redeem myself but sometimes they slip through unnoticed. Argh. Typos – definitely rant material!

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  6. I’m sorry for your troubles, but you tell them so hilariously. I’ve had foot in mouth syndrome most of my life so I can sympathize. I hope to find you in your humble abode tomorrow and not on some mountain as I’m sure you’ll never let ’em take you alive.

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