Do you like my little image for Monday courtesy of The Mind Unleashed? I do but it is something that does take time to truly understand and appreciate. The freedom that comes with the knowledge of knowing who you are and being content to be that person is quite refreshing in a world where perception and appearance has come to drive so many of us.
So much of our lives is spent worrying about the opinion of others. In fact I’m sure more harm comes from attempts to edit ourselves so that we appear to have the best qualities currently thought to be worth having. You did notice the ‘currently thought‘ little jab that I inserted there didn’t you?
It’s just that what is acceptable or correct or even desirable has changed, continues to change and it appears will always do so. The fact that most people devote themselves to fulfilling current preconceived idea of ‘what makes a worthy person‘ means that most don’t have a clue as to who they are and what they themselves feel about the world around them. This changes as they grow and some do come to the understanding that self-knowledge and acceptance is sometimes a more reliable guide than popular perceptions.
The need to sublimate ourselves to be ‘liked‘ seems to be part and parcel of modern times but it is one aspect of it that I am more than happy to shed. Shed, hell flee the idea at all speed is probably a better representation of my feelings on the matter. In fact I fall strongly into the camp of I’m me, you’re you and if you don’t like me, I don’t really care. It takes time to understand that the whole world can’t be on your side and that if everyone seems to like you then chances are you’re lying to most of them about who you really are.
Image courtesy of Normal is Overrated
I do like the idea of being unique however [vanity, vanity, all is vanity] and as such am quite prepared for the idea that there are some in this world who won’t appreciate the fact that I won’t cower under their disregard nor quiver at their disapproval.
Truth be told I’d actually enjoy seeing the knowledge come to the faces of those who enjoy reminding others of ‘supposed‘ places in this world but then again I never claimed to be an overly nice person just a unique one, or at the very least a limited edition [one with bite].
Unload and Unwind 
I also say no one pays your bills so you can do say or be anything you want. As Harry Chapin’s song, “Sequel” I asked her how she got that smile on her face and she said, at last I like myself, finally I like myself.. Powerful words
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I’ll have to check out the song – I haven’t heard it.
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He first did this song “Taxi” then he did this song called “Sequel”. Both late 70’s ballad rock.. He died in 1981… How was camping. No massive snakes ?
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Hi… You used to check out my blog from time to time… Did I offend you with my words or writing.. Omtatjuan1@yahoo.com I like constructive criticism always:)
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I haven’t been to anyone’s blog – even my own for the past month or so – I’m trying to do a catch up this week before semester 2 kicks into gear. Sorry I haven’t had a chance to visit lately but I will be dropping by soon. Jen x
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Dancing to the rhythm of your inner self; and expressing that rhythm; in the face of dislike from others or disapproval; can be an awakening or epiphany.
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Wise and sensible advice! Something I’ve learnt with age!
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The older I become the wiser I get and with that comes confidence. This has given me the freedom to pursue what I most value and desire. I find it interesting to observe many friends and people around me who are still struggling. 🙂
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Jolly well said, Jenni – something I struggle with and always have done. But kicking over the traces is always possible, no matter what age you are! So, DMs on – and off I go, kick, kick, kick! xxx
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I take it your a ‘these boots were made for kickin’ ass’ as opposed to walking. 😀
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I remember exactly where I was when I realised (emotionally as well as logically) that no one asked my permission to be who they were, so there was no reason why i should ask theirs. Takes a while to master completely, though.
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It does but it is freeing when you finally understand it.
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Excellent words and I also need to check that Harry Chapin song out!
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I absolutely love this post! Thank you for sharing.
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Glad you enjoyed it 🙂
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Reblogged this on WorkplaceWise and commented:
This is a truth many never understand.
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Thank you for sharing this with your readers it was thoughtful of you.
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Hey Jenni! I agree in part. Like a lot of other human behaviour, we struggle to find the appropriate use of self vs group. Some go too far one way and some too far the other. For instance a group activity such as constructing a building. The architect designs it and the engineers plan it and the contractors construct it. It takes the active participation of many groups each with many members. The key is that they all work to the same plan. As an individual you may not agree with the plan, however to follow it produces a usable functional facility that can keep people safe and dry and at the right temperature. If many chose to not follow the plan because they think it could be done better or differently, the building would not get built and the outcome wouldn’t be better, it simply wouldn’t be at all. However, that being said, if the individual sees a flaw in the plan that could cause harm or even death to the building occupants, then it is time to try and stop it – not because you disagree with the plan (although that is obviously so) but because the building could conceivably do more harm if built than it would do good.
So, in the first case, it is appropriate for the individual to shut up and go along with the group even if they do not agree. In the second case it is critical that the individual stand on his own and go against the group for the greater good. So, we need the group to accomplish the task, even if individuals disagree, and yet the individuals should always look to the greater good not the group good. Maintaining the greater good should be the determinant of whether the individual should act on their own or with the group.
In the complex society we have built, personal decisions are not always that simple. It is often not obvious or even applicable what is best for the group or what the greater good is. Learning to determine when the group is not a factor and then disconnecting that responsibility from the decision making process is very difficult and usually only happens with experience. Many will err on the side of caution and follow the group as we have been trained from an early age that it is the safer option – a sort of default survival behaviour.
Anyway, all those words mean that I agree we should think on our own and act in the greater good – even when it is not for personal good – sometimes as member of the group and sometimes individually. When the group is not a factor in determining greater good then we should act in the manner we feel most appropriate. And that usually takes life experience.
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I love the “You won’t care a bit… “
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😀 it is very freeing to understand that!!
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Jenni I got told after thirty you are allowed to do and say what you want to and you can say no to people and have an opinion and be utterly YOU. Love the quotes too.
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It took me a little longer to actually take it fully to heart. I always believed it but acting on it was harder but for the past decade or more it’s been something I held strongly.
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