Now I know people are supposed to be excited about the idea of holidays especially those special days called ‘public holidays’, me I’m not convinced they’re such a good thing. Routines are put out and plans are fouled with the inclusion of those who should be ‘elsewhere’ not to mention things that should be open are shut.
Lets start the day with the fact it was Friday and my husband was at home. This is not the way the week is supposed to work and as he didn’t appear to be dying from the plague I assumed he was taking a ‘sickie’.
Ignoring the malinger I grumped my way to the shops only to discover that the rapture had occurred overnight. This idea was quickly discarded as I’m positive there would have been a hell of a lot more people left at the shopping center if that had occurred so obviously it must have been the actual Apocalypse and somehow we’d been overlooked. Thinking that through it did occur to me that as a Wiccan, a Buddhist and an Agnostic it would be unlikely that our house would have been left off the clean-up list.
Then of course I leapt to the next sane conclusion that this was the Zombie Apocalypse and that sleeping in had obviously saved my life. Just about to break out the emergency zombie kit from the boot of the car I noticed the Giant Bunny looming over the entrance to the parking lot for the shopping center. Ahhh the Bunny Apocalypse – it all made sense for a moment anyway until the horrible truth hit me – Easter, it was friggin’ Easter and worse than that it was Easter Friday which meant [ominous music please] A FREAKIN’ PUBLIC HOLIDAY. [I’d have preferred the apocalypse, I wouldn’t have needed to shop]
The shops were shut and worse the banks were shut. What’s that you say, use the ATM – oh excuse me I forgot about the wonderful convenience of the whole in the wall and would make immediate use of it if only I HADN’T FORGOTTEN TO TRANSFER FUNDS TO THE CARD ACCOUNT!!!!! You see I wasn’t feeling that well yesterday and so thought that I’d leave the banking until Friday. ‘I’ll go up and transfer some from the savings account [not linked to the internet or any card for a reason] and get some cash out for the weekend’ thought I, completely oblivious to the fact that the next day was a public holiday as was the following Monday.
Digging through the change in my purse, adding up what was left in the card account after paying the bills this week and contemplating just how much cash my husband may have on him I discovered enough funds to do absolutely nothing over the next four days. Now as a rule sedentary behavior is not something that I would curl my lip at but when it is enforced I tend to get a little snarly.
Sitting in my car at the shops I considered if it was possible to convince Michael that we were in the middle of an apocalypse and that leaving the house was unwise [not to mention being a really good excuse for not having access to funds], unfortunately I realized that the very fact that he was home today meant the he was aware of the dreaded ‘public holiday‘. This of course gave rise to the possibility that I could convince him that he was supposed to have gone to the bank yesterday but, darn my inconvenient conscience, I decided that would be mean even for me.
However upon getting home I discovered a rather pleased with himself husband waiting for me. ‘Had a good time at the shops?’ was his cheery greeting. Looking at him through narrowed eyes I debated a number of witty retorts that sadly all left me still not having gone to the bank. Taking a deep breath I readied myself to confess the lack of funds and my ignorance of the Easter holidays [though come to think of it there were a lot more kids around during the day last week – huh!!] when he smiled and said not to worry that he’d stopped off for supplies during the day yesterday and as such we are not left totally bereft of funds for the next four days.
He’d even remembered to buy me some cigarettes, mumbling something about last weekend and possible threats of harm I may or may not have issued due to the lack thereof. I then proceeded to lie through my teeth and say I had just popped up to the service station to put some petrol in the car [they’re open on public holidays – right]. He tried to prove that I didn’t have a clue about the holidays when I left the house that morning but I just stuck to the big eyes and I don’t know what you could possibly mean stance.