Wiggin’ Out this Wednesday


DenialHi folks – I do actually have a really good reason for being absent for the past few weeks.  It’s quite simple I was devoting all my energies to living in denial and when not directed at living in denial they were focused on not freaking out by the fact that the major surgery I’ve been avoiding for quite a while has now become unable to be avoided.

Well and so it seems that it is now more dangerous not to have the surgery than to have it in the first place and considering the reason for not going under the knife was I was afraid of not waking up again that should say something.

The last two times I went under a general anesthetic they were forced to revive me one during surgery and then over the next 24 hours twice as my blood pressure dropped below being able to be detected.  So I decided that I wasn’t going to risk the ‘three times the charm’ concept and avoided major surgery for a number of years by allowing minor operations under day surgery procedures and a souped up version of twilight sleep.

big-girl-coffee-panries-465x465Now however it appears that nothing will do but a full abdominal hysterectomy, and since hemorrhaging to death isn’t on my list of ways to buy it I can’t see another option AND BELIEVE ME I HAVE TRIED.  So since denial has ceased to be effective and hiding under the bed seems rather limited [the light is really bad for reading] I’ve decided to be a big girl and stop doing an impressive imitation of a toddler getting shots at the doctors.

Apparently they believe they can deal with my little tendency to stop breathing without resorting to CPR on the table [although I doubt it would be that way anyway].  So I’m going to spend the next few months having my lung capacity, blood pressure and white cell count checked each week to build up a pattern for them and in the mean time I plan to go on doing everything else as normal [well as close to normal as I get].

No more playing hide and seek, plus I’ve got work to do that doesn’t stop just because I thought the world should stop spinning on account of my freaking out.

41 thoughts on “Wiggin’ Out this Wednesday

  1. Since the medical profession is aware of your problem with low blood pressure I am sure they are going to do some special monitoring during all procedures. And they won’t let you stop breathing! What are oxygen masks for? You say they believe they can deal with your little tendency to stop breathing.
    Just trust them with this, Jenni. And Best of Luck!!!

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  2. That’s a rough one Jenni/. I’m sure that if they go into the operation armed with historical data and the full knwledge of your special case, you will be fine. It is the unknown that catches them soemtimes. Have a good cheer, it will turn out OK. Yake whatever time you need to get well – we’ll be waiting.

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    • I’m sure it will work out now that I’ve stopped freaking out and thought about it a little more sensibly. Of course it may take time for my family to come to that understanding – some of them are just a tad bothered.

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      • Family, that’s understandabl, I would feel the same. Unfortunately this operation is unavoidable.
        A bit of fear isn’nt necessarily a bad thing, helps keep us grounded, just don’t let that fear take over.

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    • November – as long as nothing happens in between. They want to make sure that they have about a months worth of readings before going in but if I hemorrhage again they’ll do it immediately. So cross fingers and I’m focusing on a positive easy outcome.

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  3. Jenni, I too have the same problem and am terrified of any kind of surgery for that reason. I recently went through the blasting of a kidney stone, which required surgery and I was more concerned about the anesthetic than the procedure. As long as they are aware of the situation, they will keep a close eye on you during your surgery I’m sure. Remember you have the Great Physician with you at all times too. God bless you.

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  4. Blessings to you for a safe surgery and recovery. I can understand your apprehension.
    I develop blood clots each time I have surgery and have been in your same situation.
    Faith that a higher power will travel with you can bring a sense of peace to the fears that are with you. ❤

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  5. Hi Jenni, I need some help with my Australian slang. Any chance you’d be willing? 🙂 A woman told me a word that sounds like “umbadidilly” (but I’m probably spelling it wrong) means umbrella. I know brolly means umbrella, but does “umbadidilly”? I can’t find it on Google, so I’m doubting it. Thanks!

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    • I’ve heard it as brolly, as umberdill – but not for a long time but not the one you’ve come up with – I checked in the the Oz vernacular sites as well in case I made an error but couldn’t find anything.

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      • Ok, thank you! I think she may have just been making things up…she probably wasn’t even Australian, haha! Thanks so much!

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  6. I know how scary it is, and I don’t even have those issues – but like others have said, they are aware of the your past history, they are preparing by gathering all the data they can beforehand & they can do amazing things these days!! Sending good positive thoughts your way!! (And Jenni – not trying to be up in your business, but if you are not of the age to be close to menopause – & you don’t look like you are in your pic) if they don’t have to, don’t let ‘um take your ovaries, seriously. Sorry if I have overstepped my boundaries there, just know something about this.)

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    • No they wouldn’t have to but unfortunately my ovaries are part of the problem. Polycyistic Ovaries and Endometriosis plus internal scaring from injury and previous surgeries means it’s an all or nothing sort of thing and is one of the reasons I’ve been putting it off for as long as possible.

      I’m 44 but my family doesn’t seem to age very fast, my grandma was in her 80’s before she looked in her 60’s so appearances can be deceiving. So don’t worry about boundaries etc… I rarely do. 😀

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