Some Tips to Surviving the Sulking Storm Systems


silk 2After giving careful consideration to the topics of sulking and pouting [over the course of this weekend] I feel that it may be worth putting together some notes on how the male is to survive these events with all important assets intact.  Now neither sulking nor pouting are particularly attractive traits but they are nonetheless satisfying when the MOOD in upon one.  As a rule I’ve found that the male of the species is less trained in the various nuances of sulking but the pouting, well they tend to have that one cold.

Stomping around with a furrowed brow, taking excessive lengths of time to complete any task and the bitter recriminations of exactly why and how they have been put upon, by who and the unfairness of the entire ordeal.  The only role the female is expected to play in this [as long as she is not the cause] is to mutter faithfully:  I know, how could they, it’s so unfair, after everything, you deserve better and so forth and so on. Of course the same applies to the female in terms of pouting although some of the responses may vary: How could she, after all that you’ve done for her, they just don’t appreciate you, you’re always putting yourself first, it’s time to take care of yourself  – well you get the drift.

sulking memeWe females are ahead in the sulking game as we are more aware of the variety of ways to express displeasure without actually discussing the topic we’re upset about AT ALL and if in fact the subject is mentioned in passing this is a very bad sign and a possible precursor to a mood escalation to a Sulk Super Storm as will be described below.  This does tend to confuse the males as pouting as a general rule is situation specific and its cause is easily tracked back and identified by the male themselves as a result men tend to view signs of sulking or pouting from females in much the same way as medieval monks did witches. [in this case I would say it was not without cause however]

The female however understands the need for dissimulation when it comes to sulking as having the topic identified and dealt with is not conducive to enjoying a good sulk and the attendant discomfort of those around us. I will, however, identify some key behaviors which will enable the male of our species to recognize an incipient or even ongoing sulk and take preventative action, or at least find cover, should the need arise and I will do this for two reasons.

Before we proceed further it must be understood that the vital aspect here is that you DO NOT under any circumstances attempt to halt an ongoing sulk/pout and only under the most dire of situations attempt to divert one in the offing.  As I said there are two reasons for the sharing of this information and they are quite simply that:

  1. If a woman is sulking it is unwise to the point of suicidal to introduce logic into the conversation [should there actually be any – conversation that is] as any sulk can be escalated into a heady rage lacking in precision and resembling the scorched earth policy of war-time.
  2. For the continuation of the species it is best for all males to recognize the signs and make themselves as scarce or as small and innocuous as possible during such and event.

So now to some identifying factors and possible scenarios to limit getting caught in a blast zone that makes the Manhattan Project look like a school science fair project:

uncertainity ahead

No guarantees come with this – general advice only!

The speed at which the female will go about a daily task in a very good indicator. If she is moving in a languid manner and is almost half-hearted in her demeanor chances are that a mood system is building somewhere in the vicinity and that will be slowly gathering in other moods.  Like a potential storm system this can break up before landfall or it can gain momentum until it forms into a Sulk [category dependent on a variety of factors].

The safest thing to do in this instance is NOTHING but there is always the option of doing a chore unasked which can have the effect of breaking the mood pattern so that there will only be a light shower rather than an emotional outpouring flooding the atmosphere. Ironically if she is moving in a jerky rush, slamming her way through draws and muttering deprecating comments concerning just about anything it is likely you’re heading toward a pout and should apply the appropriate verbal responses mentioned already.

Sighing deeply at regular intervals is another indication of mood patterns forming but the clincher in determining this will be in the response to the question: Are you feeling OK?  If the answer is FINE back away very slowly without making any sudden moods and DO NOT ask again.  Once again the best thing is either to do nothing or a chore unasked and then try to blend into the background.  Offering to finish what she was doing while saying she has been working too hard and then finishing it up with making a tea or coffee can also possibly diffuse or at least mitigate the impending storm system.

Hurricane Sandy

Model of Escalated Sulk Super Storm

BUT if the answer to your question is met with silence and turning away from you RUN as if pursued by an angry hungry wolf. Immediately run through all unfinished chores that you have left hanging, do them and then buy flowers, all the while pretending not to notice there is anything wrong AT ALL just saying that you thought she’d been doing too much and you wanted to let her know that you appreciate her. [this will of course be seen through but the rules are when such gestures are made you pretend you don’t know exactly why they are doing it so you will be safe from being accused of trying to deflect trouble etc]

Other indications are restless behavior followed by a listless demeanor, continued silence OR rants against a variety of unrelated topics not aimed at a person in general but the world itself.  Here especially is where you employ the rule regarding logic or even querying the variety of leaps her mind will make from topic to topic.  Any attempt to do otherwise will result in the escalation from sulk to super storm as mentioned above.

 

Simpson Desert Australia

Simpson Desert Australia

Not wanting to go anywhere while at the same time complaining of boredom and becoming annoyed at the sound of others breathing in the same vicinity are indicators that you are approaching the heart of the storm. How long this lasts will be dependent of how often she is interrupted, questioned or even observed.

At times such as this the make yourself small option is the one to put into play – nothing wrong with avoidance after all no one wants to be scorched dryer than the Simpson Desert which is a possibility if the sulk is triggered. If that happens the sulk will then morph into a super storm which is devastating for those in its path as well as impossible to predict the outcome of .

 

So I thinks that covers the basics, after all we wouldn’t want to give too much away now would we – where would be the fun in that?

I think I’d like to end this post with a wonderful quote in regards to the cathartic and enjoyable side of sulking.

Quotation-Cassandra-Clare-evening-business-Meetville-Quotes-180741

Lady after my own heart

 

 

 

14 thoughts on “Some Tips to Surviving the Sulking Storm Systems

  1. Ha! I loved that, how cute. Men really do have the whole pouting thing down pat, but they tend to fail miserably at the sulking. Women have turned sulking into an art form. Seriously, that is the best way to handle it, admire the skill, the depth, the artistry of it all.

    I am terribly sad to report that on account of my Italian genes I suppose, I am incapable of sulking around men. Withdraw, engage in the silent treatment? Nope, once you have offended my brain, I must share the misery. I have been known to give a 15 minute rant to my husband about how I am never speaking to him again. He quite graciously waits patiently for me to work it all out, never once bringing up logic or reason. Alas, it’s quite charming and I tend to forget what I was mad about long before I am finished talking.

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    • Prince among men is your husband to quietly withstand the Rant portion once a sulk has been escalated also very smart as it is the key to survival – DO NOT try to address any point made simply nod a lot and wait for us to wind down.

      Glad you enjoyed the piece – my husband read it and hasn’t stopped dissolving into silent laughter from time to time since. Apparently he plans to make copies to give out the men at work.

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  2. I have to say I was feeling a bit sulky this morning when I came across this blog post and it helped the storm to pass 🙂 Cranky babies who won’t take a nap can make for some cranky mornings for all involved.

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  3. Hoohha – good information to have. Are you sure you won’t get in trouble with others of your gender by releasing confidential information? I’ll keep the secret – mum’s the word. And as an aside, I have noticed a very obscure correlation that I haven’t quite figured out yet – pehaps you can cipher it for me. As a long-haul transport driver, I used to get to see lots of vehicle passengers as their vehicle passed me on multilane highways. There are some stories there, let me tell you, but naked women and car-sex aside, one observation was that babies, small children, women and cats will look a transport driver in the eye as they pass. Dogs and men will look at either the wheels as they turn or the fuel tanks or the mudflaps. It turns out that that very same breakdown applies to those who pout, sulk and rant. Small children, women and cats all partake of the aformentioned behaviour (not that I would ever mention that to any of the group) and men and dogs seem to be the most common targets. Perhaps there is a link? Any insights into this mystery would be greatly appreciated. Thanks Jenni.

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    • Oh there is a post in that – I’ll just have to order my thoughts a little – Thanks and I’ll make sure full credit for the idea goes to you [so they know who to blame of course].

      Glad you enjoyed the post and I didn’t let ALL the secrets out of the bag – that would be foolish and have me kicked out of the club.

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  4. “Are you feeling OK? If the answer is FINE back away very slowly without making any sudden moods and DO NOT ask again.”
    So true, as is the rest of the post. But this IS my favorite quote. 😀

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