Not A Nice Girl
By Jenni
There once was a girl
Of nefarious intent
On breaking and entering
She was intent.
Through windows and door
Through keyholes and crack
She listened and poked
Looking for booty of which she was lack
Oh she was a terror
Bent on her schemes
Of capture and punishment
She NEVER dreamed
One day in the forest
She found and abode
What wonderful offerings
It was her mother load
Chairs of all sorts
And food all laid out
She’d sample it all
Of this she had no doubt
She went to the first
Finding it Cold
And too hot was the second
But the third – she was sold
She guzzled and gulped
This wonderful fare
Not dreaming at all
She was in the lair of a bear
The house was a trap
Set by the marshals of law
Ignorant of this
No idea what’s in store
The porridge was laced
With the help of a witch
Whose home she had burgled
That was the clinch
Needing a nap
After eating her fill
She tried to lie down
But the bed suited ill.
The next was no better
What’s this she did cry
But there on the third
She did finally lie
Out of the closet
Stepped the old father bear
Rubbing his hands
She’s caught in our snare
From that day to this
No sign has been seen
Of that nefarious girl
Not even a gleam
For you see
that while he was law
Papa was still
A bear tooth and claw.
I wrote this for the March Madness Challenge but decided it was worth a re-run for this Weekend’s Challenge Theme of humorous prose or poetry. Hope you enjoy.
Hee Hee……….I do like this! 😀
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I’m working on another one but hit a mental wall so it may take until Sunday to finish to a did a re-run with this little ditty.
Oh you know those books I mentioned to you with the ‘that which yields is not always weak’ the review is up in the book nook but here’s the link:
https://jenniferann1970.wordpress.com/2014/04/24/kushiels-legacy-jacqueline-carey/
I forgot to tell you when they went up and I know I said I would when I got round to doing the post – sorry about that. Jenni
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Thank you Jenni,
I really appreciate that. It’s been a trying week and I need it to read them.
I can’t wait to read your finished piece……
Teela
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Sweet piece Jenni!
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Glad you like it.
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Really liked this – great idea to re-tell fairy tales with a darker twist!…what’s next?
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Well I’m working out the kinks of a bit of a parody in poetic form about our Prime Minister using the framework of a famous Australian poem – I Love A Sun-burnt Country – mine will be something like – We’ll have a Bankrupt Country or Burnt Out Country [haven’t decided]. There are a few pieces in it that need some work but it should be ready by tomorrow.
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I read your fairy tale with great interest. You won’t believe this, but I’ll mention it anyway. I’m about 14 hours behind you time wise, so you posted this article at about 3 am my time. I had returned home about midight, checked e-mail and responded to the Seuss post. I was having a cup of tea while watching a bit of TV and the program was about home buying in Alaska. The realtor was escorting buyers to various upscale homes built in the forest. Most things were familiar to me – the car, dirt roads, the flora, most of the home designs : other than the scenery, ir could be a forested area here in Ontario where I live (it was summer with no snow) except for one big difference. The realtor did not allow the buyers out of the car unless she was with them carrying a huge, powerful rifle. When they were touring, as long as they were ouside she carried the rifle over her shoulder. Here was this petite, well dressed woman (she could easily have been a bank executive in the city) talking about granite counter tops, hardwood floors, stainless appliances while casually slinging a rifle that was almost as long as she was tall.They didn’t mention why, but I knew from past experience: Girzzlys. The houses had huge steel post fences around areas where children would play and bear cages on the exposed windows. The owners were interested in waterfront properties and a few times they watched in fascination as a Girzzly fished in their back yard. I thought about the bear story that I wrote to you and how much different Grizzlys were to those black bears I described. Grizzlys have no fear of humans and are huge carnivores (large males can run 1,500 pounds – the better part of a ton). We are no more than a source of food for them. They are very prevalant in Alaska and in low population areas it is critical to carry a rifle whenever outside (hands guns bullets only annoy them, like mosquitos). I went to bed when the show was over thinking about Grizzlys (for the first time in years) and when I got up this morning (it’s a little after 9am here), I opened up my e-mail and there was your Grizzly story. Ha! .Your little thief should have known better than to be touring in a Grizzly area without her cannon. And eating a Grizzly’s meal? So long, it’s been good to know ya. Ha!
Great post Jenni! Keep up the mind reading!
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That is so Deja vu – gotta respect the Grizzly. I love bears – not in a oh so cute fashion but their just so darn impressive.
Hope you have a good day.
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Very fun and clever 🙂
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Thank you
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You know i am your biggest fan of these!! Have you considered putting out a little book of them? I feel like there could be a real market for them….kinda like the mad-lib books type of publishing?
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I’ve got a couple that are perking along but missing something in places so I’ve put them aside to rest for a bit but I keep coming back with something clicks in my head about them. Two are now finished and the other five are ‘simmering’ is probably the best term.
Anyway you should talk I think your posts would make one of those wonderful columns of the ‘what about this or what if or have you considered’ style in either daily or weekly in the paper – bet you’d have a HUGE following in a very short time.
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I love this , I have rewritten a couple or more fairytales… I love yours great fun!! xxx
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Next weekend you should share some
Give some fun to everyone.
I’m working on a couple more
Not 2, not 3 maybe four.
Thanks for taking the time for the read and hope you do share some with everyone next weekend for the challenge [that is if they are humorous – if not just re-post them on your blog or send me the link as I’d love a read]
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Not sure if they are all humorous one is definitely I’ll check them out.
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Thank you very much – I always enjoy your writing. Jenni
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Off to bed now 🙂
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Just out of bed for me. 🙂
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This is rip roaringly wonderful! You have a fizzing imagination. This poem kept delighting and suprising me, made me smile 🙂 right up to the twist at the end. Love the paradox, a fairy tale with NO fairy tale ending… Thanks for a brilliant post. Here’s to a great week ahead.
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Same to you – Sorry I’ve been so busy lately but I’m trying to catch up with the posts that I’ve gotten behind in reading. I honestly wasn’t ignoring your work. Jenni
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Don’t be daft ;-D It’s lovely to hear from you at any time. You are doing amazing campaigning for such important causes, I am cheering you on! Hugs from your WP pal.
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Good – didn’t want people to think I was being rude. 🙂
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😀 😀
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