What Really Ticked Me Off This Tuesday


Saw this amazing post on Dizzy Chick called Ticked Off Tuesday where she invites you to let rip with whatever has been bugging you today.  Excellent timing I have to say as I’m a little peeved at present and am proceeding swiftly to fully pissed.  Some might read this and say I’m being a little harsh but honest look me in the eye (well the post then) and tell me you haven’t wanted to draw the line like this with some people in your life.

emo vamp 3You know the ones I mean, those emotional vampires who spend hours talking about how bad they feel about themselves – over and over and over again. We’re not talking serious emotional upheaval that requires friends merely to be there for however long it takes I’m talking about the professional whiners.

I’m such a waste of space, I hate my body and I’ll never get a partner, I’m so slack sleeping all day when I should be working on an assignment, my diet is really bad and I’m just an awful, hopeless loser.

You don’t mind at first but the same conversation over and over tends to get my back up and by that I mean really piss me off. At the end of the day you have two choices – do something about it or get used to it but for all that is sane in this world quit whingeing about it to anyone who sits still long enough in your vicinity.

emo vamp 2So for pure survival purposes I have developed one or two lines of defense the first of which is the Three Strike Rule which I apply to everyone (including family).  I do advise people of this once we start the pity parade so no one can say they weren’t warned.  Once again I do reiterate that this is different from the kinds of deep trauma that family and friends just need someone to cling to in order to make their own way.

We have a house guest at present.  Now in general terms he is a lovely affable chap who is generous and helpful if at times a little too needy.  We have reached a little impasse over the past week or so and as such he is currently doing his level best to be ultra helpful in a very puppy like manner that unfortunately for him only makes me want to smack him on the nose with a rolled up newspaper.

What has brought us to this point is we’ve recently been doing the merry-go-round of to study or not, how many subjects, what did we think, did we think he should drop out or change courses and variations of that them.  Now thankfully that part has been mainly directed at my husband. I on the other hand have had the fun task of dealing with naked self-pity disguised as seeking advice.

An Overview of the Last Couple of Days

JBI hate how much weight I’ve put on I really need to watch my diet – what do you think?

JEN – Suggest that perhaps not eating KFC 10 wings packs in one sitting 4 times a week or cooking up fried fish and chips after a dinner of steak , baked potato and salad (of which I’ve served a twice the portion of my husband)

JB – hehehe yeah suppose I should.   [A high-pitched giggle worthy of a 10 yrs old girl coming out of the mouth of a 42yr 130kg man – and trust me on this that giggle will want to make you claw your eardrums after a while plus add to that the I’ve been naughty face that pisses me off with kids but with adults just incites me to violence]

JENoffer to have healthy snack in-house for him or at least less fatty snacks.

JB – Next day checks really full cupboard that has biscuits, cheese, dip etc decides something is missing goes to corner shop returns with 3 packets of beef jerky and proceeds to eat all within the evening as well as a large bag of pretzels. Also note that back seat of car has KFC box.

JENso you want a smaller dinner?

JB – [blank look moving to puzzled] no I’m hungry – proceeds to eat half the chicken stir fry for dinner.

JEN – [says nothing]

JB – next day overslept than gets up looks hangdog and depressed and talks about his poor body image and his slack behaviour.

JEN – offers advice of similar theme from other day also offers to wake him when husband and I get up in morning

JBGood call  said with enthused attitude and goes out to eat 2 doner kebab while waiting for me to do the shopping.

JEN – I unpack groceries

JB – notices no beef jerky (never buy that stuff anyway) goes to store and comes home with it and a six-pack of mothers which is eaten and drunk before dinner. Has large bowl of homemade pasta, rolls and parmesan cheese for dinner and then gets up around midnight to make a bowl of noodles eats it and goes back to bed.
JEN – slowly boiling but decides – NOT my problem

JB – overslept but gets up after being called a dozen times but then proceeds to sleep in the lounge cutting timber with his snore. Wakes looks vaguely at the time scans emails for uni and ponders if he feels up to working the next day. Starts to feel down about himself wants to talk.

JENDon’t care – change or not up to you – but I won’t talk about the same shit just to make you feel better about being slack. Pick another topic but know 3 strike rule applies. If it is a genuine emotional pain you need to discuss sure however long it takes but if it is another bullshit session of how bad you feel about you because of your weight, no girlfriend, being slack at work and with study, then  I’M NOT INTERESTED UNTIL YOU ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

JB – [hurt puppy eyes] Then proceeds to start into how he knows he needs to work on this.

JEN – [interrupts rudely]   AGAIN – don’t care until I actually cease finding junk food wrappers all over the house, you wash the sheets that have been on your bed for the past month, take a shower more than once a week OR quit whining and be at one with your loser self. (ok maybe a bit mean)

JB – [whipped puppy eyes] Another try for contrite and earnest plans of action

JEN – NOT talking about it – will review the ruling if action happens until then it falls under the three strike law. [puts in headphone on comp to indicate conversation has come to end]

JB – stares, not sure of what to do – this is not how things are supposed to go.

JB then went to hide in room for rest of day to make me feel bad. Silly boy, passive aggressive shit and guilt have no chance with me.  The nifty thing about being able to step back from people, when I say I don’t care I MEAN IT and sulking, hiding, pouting or holding of breath until blue will not do a damn thing except annoy me if I have to call an ambulance.

Texted husband to update and prepare – was sent flowers which I think answers now and forever any question of why I love that man.

Posting In March

 

43 thoughts on “What Really Ticked Me Off This Tuesday

  1. I got a ton of people working in the same building as I who are exactly the definition of emotional vampires, God knows I’m always just bout ready to call an ambulance for them daily just in case ugh!

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  2. [Stands up and applauds] Good. For. You! That was perfect. And no, you were not, at any point, being ‘mean’. He is being insufferably rude and should be ashamed. As I’ve been known to say to people, “You are a grown @$$ man. Act like it!” Sometimes the kindest thing you can do for someone is a swift kick on the bottom (metaphorically).

    “unfortunately for him only makes me want to smack him on the nose with a rolled up newspaper”

    Hilarious!! I loved that line.

    I fully support cutting out such people from your life. I don’t talk to my mother, brother, and sister for such reasons and my life is so much better for it.

    I don’t suppose you could do the ultimate act of kindness and love and tell him he’s got x number of days and then he needs to be fully relocated somewhere else?

    I hope this gets resolved for you soon! In the meantime, I will be waiting eagerly for updates. 🙂

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    • No – won’t do that for the simple reason that once I draw a line it stays – he may not realise it yet but I won’t be available for whining and I won’t feel bad about it either.

      So he is welcome to stay as when he isn’t caught up in the pity party he’s not really all that bad and is quite funny.

      I’m just not sure how he’ll react to the reality of I’m not at all embarrassed and won’t be avoiding him just certain topics.

      But you are right about the grown man issue – that does spark my fuse easily as I loathe that – ooh I’ve been naughty haven’t I but I have mentioned it numerous times but I’m not sure he actually realised it applied to him – ahhhh!!!

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      • Clearly you have the situation under control, which is awesome. Too often you hear these stories where people complain about someone’s rude behavior but they don’t DO anything about it. It’s so frustrating! Thank you for taking a stand. And sharing!

        🙂

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  3. LOL! That was an awesome rant. I so hear you. Emotional vampires drive me crazy. I may be insane, but I don’t do the same exact thing over and over again, and than complain to my friends because I keep getting the same results.

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    • Excellent – high five for not being a drain on human vitality!! There’s a difference in needing support and sucking people dry and those with geniune issues and the desire to take back their life know that. They have good support networks but don’t expect others to do the work for them or pat them on the back for not doing anything at all. As one who has needed support in the past and still does from time to time I find those who drain people without giving anything back distasteful.

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  4. Good post. I have to always be conscious of not going to the dark side around my friends. No need to punish them because I’m a train wreck. That’s one of the reasons I blog

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    • I don’t mind listening what I do get pissed with is saying one thing and doing absolutely nothing but still wanting to whinge about how bad it is.

      It’s not the big stuff that people can’t help or anxiety which is such freakin train wreck of a ride – that’s different.

      It’s I’m soooo fat but I won’t stop eating crap but I want to tell everyone about how bad I feel cause I’m fat. That tends to piss me off very quickly hence the three strike rule.

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  5. I have a few friends like that. Then threaten to do things like deactivate facebook because “nobody cares”. It’s all so highschool. We all have insecurities. But , the time comes when we need to grow up and deal with them.

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    • I don’t mind helping – I don’t even really mind listening especially if it is something that just overtakes a person in life – we’ve all been there at some point.

      What ticks me are the want to whine about something fixable – not do anything to fix it and still want you to make them feel better when the want to cover the same ground over and over again – it’s like it’s their only topic of conversation in life.

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  6. I love your humor thats sprinkled everywhere. Bless your humor.
    I find your views good intended, bold, mixed with love, concern, humor and some valid points.
    I wanted to share my views on it.
    I sometimes have felt, to draw line with such professional whiners , to be away from those too much negativities. I might be seeing someone as a professional whiner . The same all time whiner might see me as a all time rude/cold person. I’m never perfect. Which obviously makes me to erase the line, and do whatever that appears right to be done, as with the little knowledge i possess. Ofcourse there are many times when i couldn’t cope up with what whiners use to do, but i also see my inability to copeup, which itself appears as a form a whining in disguise, so i try my best to remain silent about my inability.
    I like the three strike rule. I remember that it had helped me sometimes. It worked well one me.
    But there were some other moments, where i felt it didn’t work on me, rather it just worsened the situation.
    I’m not saying this as a bad idea. But i’m just pointing out that it might not be suiting every situation, every person.
    Sometimes, its wise to look a problem from the surface, sometimes digging little deep will help.
    I don’t know much about the person been mentioned in this post, who is remarked as eating lot. But if someone similar had asked that to me, i would have suggested them to eat more, but with a condition to enjoy every bite they take and to chew the food well enough.
    As far as i know, when we eat food that are hard to digest, lots of energy are required for the digestive system to process it, thereby sucking those extra energies from other parts of the body, eventually the stomach signalling brain for more food as more energy is required. And once the ‘hard to do’ – digestion is completed, body finds a lots of excess energy that it sometimes stores as fat, sometimes makes people go crazy 😀 , its like being low for a long time and sudden extra elevated high.
    Making digestion easier in the first place, makes sure body does its job with ease, no extra junks needed. Infact the more the one enjoys every bite, the less they might eat more of it. Again, i’m not saying this would fit all people. But it will help sometimes, i have seen it working.
    A good post.
    Good day ahead 🙂

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    • I’m all for listening and helping and want to thank you so much for your insight and thoughtful comment.

      I would never wish anyone to just use something like a 3 strike law for every issue that comes their way but in this case I was also leaving out about a year of the same talks.

      I hadn’t put my foot down for so long as they were a good friend BUT recently limits have been reached and breached so the fell into the 3 strike category re those 3 topics.

      I told them this and they nodded and agreed but didn’t I think believe me. Well I guess they do now.

      Thank you for taking the time to visit and comment when you feel you should I really love the interaction and ideas people bring. Jenni

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      • I admire your patience in listening to something year long, the kind of patience i want to develop more. I doubt whether i have such patience, probably thats why i dig into resolving rather than listening.
        I’m very glad that you found insights from my comments.
        I too love interactions and different perspectives.
        Cheerz 🙂

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    • What’s the point in ranting if you can’t have fun, now soap boxing is what I save for more serious issues (although the inner snark does seem to sneak out there from time to time – naughty snark). Why would you be scared from the sound of it you work really hard to deal with the issues you’ve spoken about. I never begrudge anyone that right to talk things through and discuss where they are going and what they want – it’s the one’s who just want to whine but do nothing that get my back up.

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      • I guess I feel like I whine a lot, in addition to working hard. Your friend needs a little talk-therapy, if you ask me, and maybe a girlfriend that would give him a swift kick in the ass. I possibly feel bad for the guy, too, because it sounds like he has some serious food problems, and I can relate!

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  7. Oh I can’t stand when people do that. Complaining once is fine, even twice. We all do it. But complaining about the same thing over and over, all while ignoring the advice that you’ve been asked for – no! Go find someone else to complain to. I’m glad you led me over. This was a good read. Thank you.

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  8. You stated what I can’t. I know someone, whilst not this bad, always complains about weight. Each time the conversation comes up, I eye roll and say I don’t want to hear it. Yet the same person disgusted about weight will gorge out or endlessly snack on unhealthy foods. Yes they work out but eating habits derails them every time. I’m so over hearing about it and there is no pity party here.

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