Saw this amazing post on Dizzy Chick called Ticked Off Tuesday where she invites you to let rip with whatever has been bugging you today. Excellent timing I have to say as I’m a little peeved at present and am proceeding swiftly to fully pissed. Some might read this and say I’m being a little harsh but honest look me in the eye (well the post then) and tell me you haven’t wanted to draw the line like this with some people in your life.
You know the ones I mean, those emotional vampires who spend hours talking about how bad they feel about themselves – over and over and over again. We’re not talking serious emotional upheaval that requires friends merely to be there for however long it takes I’m talking about the professional whiners.
I’m such a waste of space, I hate my body and I’ll never get a partner, I’m so slack sleeping all day when I should be working on an assignment, my diet is really bad and I’m just an awful, hopeless loser.
You don’t mind at first but the same conversation over and over tends to get my back up and by that I mean really piss me off. At the end of the day you have two choices – do something about it or get used to it but for all that is sane in this world quit whingeing about it to anyone who sits still long enough in your vicinity.
So for pure survival purposes I have developed one or two lines of defense the first of which is the Three Strike Rule which I apply to everyone (including family). I do advise people of this once we start the pity parade so no one can say they weren’t warned. Once again I do reiterate that this is different from the kinds of deep trauma that family and friends just need someone to cling to in order to make their own way.
We have a house guest at present. Now in general terms he is a lovely affable chap who is generous and helpful if at times a little too needy. We have reached a little impasse over the past week or so and as such he is currently doing his level best to be ultra helpful in a very puppy like manner that unfortunately for him only makes me want to smack him on the nose with a rolled up newspaper.
What has brought us to this point is we’ve recently been doing the merry-go-round of to study or not, how many subjects, what did we think, did we think he should drop out or change courses and variations of that them. Now thankfully that part has been mainly directed at my husband. I on the other hand have had the fun task of dealing with naked self-pity disguised as seeking advice.
An Overview of the Last Couple of Days
JB – I hate how much weight I’ve put on I really need to watch my diet – what do you think?
JEN – Suggest that perhaps not eating KFC 10 wings packs in one sitting 4 times a week or cooking up fried fish and chips after a dinner of steak , baked potato and salad (of which I’ve served a twice the portion of my husband)
JB – hehehe yeah suppose I should. [A high-pitched giggle worthy of a 10 yrs old girl coming out of the mouth of a 42yr 130kg man – and trust me on this that giggle will want to make you claw your eardrums after a while plus add to that the I’ve been naughty face that pisses me off with kids but with adults just incites me to violence]
JEN– offer to have healthy snack in-house for him or at least less fatty snacks.
JB – Next day checks really full cupboard that has biscuits, cheese, dip etc decides something is missing goes to corner shop returns with 3 packets of beef jerky and proceeds to eat all within the evening as well as a large bag of pretzels. Also note that back seat of car has KFC box.
JEN – so you want a smaller dinner?
JB – [blank look moving to puzzled] no I’m hungry – proceeds to eat half the chicken stir fry for dinner.
JEN – [says nothing]
JB – next day overslept than gets up looks hangdog and depressed and talks about his poor body image and his slack behaviour.
JEN – offers advice of similar theme from other day also offers to wake him when husband and I get up in morning
JB – Good call said with enthused attitude and goes out to eat 2 doner kebab while waiting for me to do the shopping.
JEN – I unpack groceries
JB – notices no beef jerky (never buy that stuff anyway) goes to store and comes home with it and a six-pack of mothers which is eaten and drunk before dinner. Has large bowl of homemade pasta, rolls and parmesan cheese for dinner and then gets up around midnight to make a bowl of noodles eats it and goes back to bed.
JEN – slowly boiling but decides – NOT my problem
JB – overslept but gets up after being called a dozen times but then proceeds to sleep in the lounge cutting timber with his snore. Wakes looks vaguely at the time scans emails for uni and ponders if he feels up to working the next day. Starts to feel down about himself wants to talk.
JEN – Don’t care – change or not up to you – but I won’t talk about the same shit just to make you feel better about being slack. Pick another topic but know 3 strike rule applies. If it is a genuine emotional pain you need to discuss sure however long it takes but if it is another bullshit session of how bad you feel about you because of your weight, no girlfriend, being slack at work and with study, then I’M NOT INTERESTED UNTIL YOU ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
JB – [hurt puppy eyes] Then proceeds to start into how he knows he needs to work on this.
JEN – [interrupts rudely] AGAIN – don’t care until I actually cease finding junk food wrappers all over the house, you wash the sheets that have been on your bed for the past month, take a shower more than once a week OR quit whining and be at one with your loser self. (ok maybe a bit mean)
JB – [whipped puppy eyes] Another try for contrite and earnest plans of action
JEN – NOT talking about it – will review the ruling if action happens until then it falls under the three strike law. [puts in headphone on comp to indicate conversation has come to end]
JB – stares, not sure of what to do – this is not how things are supposed to go.
JB then went to hide in room for rest of day to make me feel bad. Silly boy, passive aggressive shit and guilt have no chance with me. The nifty thing about being able to step back from people, when I say I don’t care I MEAN IT and sulking, hiding, pouting or holding of breath until blue will not do a damn thing except annoy me if I have to call an ambulance.
Texted husband to update and prepare – was sent flowers which I think answers now and forever any question of why I love that man.