Way To Freak Out Bad Drivers

Hmm I’ve done this a bit lately but once again a post of OM’s ‘What is a Turn Signal‘ made me think of one of the few times I’ve had the pleasure of scaring the shit out of a driver who normally terrifies others.

Setting the Scene:

Peak hour traffic in the heart of the CBD and I am stopped at a red light.  Now normally I wouldn’t be there as driving in the city is a life and death mission at the best of times let alone at morning peak hour. However I had a doctor’s appointment and decided to drop my partner at uni before going.

Now when I say stopped at a red light I do not mean I came to a stop.  I was at the time of the incident fully stopped and the second car in line from the lights. Now out of nowhere there is a godforsaken screech as a Mazda sports driver learns that going from 80km/hr to a dead stop is really not possible in those conditions (plus the fact it’s 40km during peak hour and 60km normally).

The entire front end of her car is totalled due to being as sturdy as a coke can while my little tank of a Chrysler sigma (circa 1970 – what it was my first uni car) had this tiny dent in the rear.  I watch as the crazy lady leaps from her car and starts stalking toward me with a ‘I’m going to kick you ass‘ look all over her face.  Well naturally I then had to get out of the car myself.

This took a little maneuvering as I was just short of 9 months pregnant at the time and resembled a beach ball balanced on toothpicks.  I’ve never actually seen someone lose all colour in their face but I have to tell you it’s extremely impressive.  Next thing I know SHE swoons and as I approach the now obviously crazy lady all I can hear is – ‘shit she’s pregnant, pregnant, shit oh shit‘.

I can tell you that it was possibly one of the most satisfying moments of my life as I waddled closer and watched the panic rise and the observed the ‘fight or flight‘ moment pass over her countenance.  The rest was fairly mundane other than the police who were determined to call an ambulance (I really never figured out who they thought needed it the most) and the fairly decent crowd of onlookers who had come to gawk at the pregnant lady vs crazy lady drama.

Strangely enough the first thing she said after regaining the power of coherent speech was ‘why the f#%*k is my car totaled and your piece of shit barely damaged‘.  Priorities were obviously a little confused for her at this point I gathered.  I did try to explain the concept of inertia and force plus the little titbit that most modern cars couldn’t go up against a jack rabbit and come out unscathed.

All in all it was a most exciting moment only lessened by the fact that I didn’t go into labour as I hoped since at that point I was heartily sick of being pregnant.

 

Posting in March