Way To Freak Out Bad Drivers

Hmm I’ve done this a bit lately but once again a post of OM’s ‘What is a Turn Signal‘ made me think of one of the few times I’ve had the pleasure of scaring the shit out of a driver who normally terrifies others.

Setting the Scene:

Peak hour traffic in the heart of the CBD and I am stopped at a red light.  Now normally I wouldn’t be there as driving in the city is a life and death mission at the best of times let alone at morning peak hour. However I had a doctor’s appointment and decided to drop my partner at uni before going.

mazda sportsNow when I say stopped at a red light I do not mean I came to a stop.  I was at the time of the incident fully stopped and the second car in line from the lights. Now out of nowhere there is a godforsaken screech as a Mazda sports driver learns that going from 80km/hr to a dead stop is really not possible in those conditions (plus the fact it’s 40km during peak hour and 60km normally).

chysler sigmaThe entire front end of her car is totalled due to being as sturdy as a coke can while my little tank of a Chrysler sigma (circa 1970 – what it was my first uni car) had this tiny dent in the rear.  I watch as the crazy lady leaps from her car and starts stalking toward me with a ‘I’m going to kick you ass‘ look all over her face.  Well naturally I then had to get out of the car myself.

This took a little maneuvering as I was just short of 9 months pregnant at the time and resembled a beach ball balanced on toothpicks.  I’ve never actually seen someone lose all colour in their face but I have to tell you it’s extremely impressive.  Next thing I know SHE swoons and as I approach the now obviously crazy lady all I can hear is – ‘shit she’s pregnant, pregnant, shit oh shit‘.

I can tell you that it was possibly one of the most satisfying moments of my life as I waddled closer and watched the panic rise and the observed the ‘fight or flight‘ moment pass over her countenance.  The rest was fairly mundane other than the police who were determined to call an ambulance (I really never figured out who they thought needed it the most) and the fairly decent crowd of onlookers who had come to gawk at the pregnant lady vs crazy lady drama.

Strangely enough the first thing she said after regaining the power of coherent speech was ‘why the f#%*k is my car totaled and your piece of shit barely damaged‘.  Priorities were obviously a little confused for her at this point I gathered.  I did try to explain the concept of inertia and force plus the little titbit that most modern cars couldn’t go up against a jack rabbit and come out unscathed.

All in all it was a most exciting moment only lessened by the fact that I didn’t go into labour as I hoped since at that point I was heartily sick of being pregnant.


Posting in March

31 thoughts on “Way To Freak Out Bad Drivers

  1. Try driving in Atlanta. I feel confident that I can drive anywhere in the world thanks to learning here. These people will try and kill you if it gets them to their destination any faster.


  2. Oh! Good for the bump sorting out the mad dangerous lady. What did the bump turn out to be? It will be interesting , at some point in the future to see if they will either a peace negotiater , a racing driver or a driving instructor . yes definitely one for the ‘ bullied on the road brigade ‘ 🙂 xxx


    • Bump was a boy – who is now basically a tree since he tops me by a foot. At uni studying Arts/Education in History and Lit. Plays rugby union on the side. The other teams see him coming and just move out of the way. He’s not hefty but he just seems sooo big out on the field.


    • Thank you – at the time it was an interesting start to my day as well. Thank you for taking the time to give me your feedback and I hope to see you here at Unload and Unwind in the future. Jenni


  3. Hi Jenni,

    Don’t change that car! I see people getting cut from cars all the time here in the UK.They are rubbish. Mine is 17 years old this year but at least it takes a little bump without becoming a piece of scrap. It starts every time and although it eats petrol is cheap for me to run. OK, nothing in this country is cheap, but it is less expensive…


    • Sadly my little Sigma was sold to another uni student years ago. I’ve never felt quite so safe in the other cars I’ve owned, they only time I did was when driving mums BMW while she was OS. Unfortunately also collected a number of speeding fines going between Brisbane and Noosa (the beach) since it was a straight stretch of highway for about an hour. No fair – those cars feel like they’re doing 60km/hr when they actually doing close to 120km/hr – the police were not understanding of this dilemma. Sigh – now I’m all ‘growed’ up I have to be responsible. Oh well always had that year of the BMW.


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