I’ve been sulking, with a possible side dish of pouting in addition to a general overall feeling of ITS NOT FAIR. I’ve managed to run the gauntlet of such fine emotions over the last 24 hours only to come full circle back to the whole it’s not fair issue. Now here is where I’ve had a little stumble. How many times have I talked with people and counseled them on the fact that whether life is fair or not, it is the one we have. It is our choice to embrace what has been given us and create something from there or to sit and
sulk obsess about what we don’t have and never go anywhere in life at all.
In the middle of such a productive day of sulk and pout I came across this saying while looking at the Vintage Anchor site and it had a somewhat sobering effect on my glorious day of self-indulgent wallowing. Because it is true I would never just pause halfway in a book and leave the rest of the story unread so why was I doing it with life. Have I learnt nothing from all those years of hiding out?
So I decided to grow up (just a little bit) and accept that it is my birthday today and not some giant conspiracy aimed at spoiling all my fun for the rest of eternity. This of course in no way undermines my aim to continue with freezing space and time before this time next year. After all there is only so much growing a person can do – isn’t there? Accepting turning 44 today does not mean accepting turning 45 or older and I feel quite sure there is no rule in the emotional growth handbook that says one must accept all things at all times.
So for now I plan to stop being a whiny baby about the whole issue (my husband will be sooo relieved not to have to tap dance round my mood) and make the most of everything that I have. For you see, when it comes right down to it, given everything in my life, the people I’ve known, the things I’ve seen, love found and lost and found again I’ve realized that there is no place in the universe I would rather be than here and no person I would rather be (and I never imagined I would say those words and truly mean them). These moments, captured in time with the people you love are what life itself is all about and to deny that is just childish so it seems I must at long last GROW UP.