Birthday Muttering & The Space Time Continuum

As anyone who follows my blog is aware my birthday is coming up in a few days and I’m having a just a LITTLE difficulty accepting that I am approaching the age event horizon.  While I may be only 44 this year it is the next that lands me on the precipice of no return.  Once you pass 45 even lying to yourself about being an adult becomes a somewhat of a chore and even one such as I who is experienced in DMA (denial martial arts of run duck and hide)would be hard pressed to maintain a reasonable charade.

frozen-in-timeSo in the spirit of said denial I have decided to devote my not inconsiderable energies over the next twelve months into finding a way to freeze the space-time continuum in order that I remain 45 while at the same time – time itself continues to flow.  I definitely don’t want a Ground Hog Day situation as I imagine it would be akin to living in hell after a while.

Too be honest I am having difficulty finding assistance for my project and I am still waiting for Stephen Hawking to get back to me in regards to my idea.  I guess he may be feeling a little intimidated by my obvious deep insights into quantum physics and unique approach to molecular engineering and may need some time to build up the confidence to speak with me.  Poor thing, I will just have to be patient with him.

Also the world space agencies have shown a distinct lack of understanding and manners as they have not yet responded to my inquiries in regards to the proposal to elicit funds from them to continue my research. I have considered approaching the Conservative parties around the world as they would surely be interested in something that could freeze time at auspicious moments for them – they could have little Stepford Wives style towns and live happily there without inflicting themselves on the rest of the population if the research proves viable.  However the possibility for it to be used in vain enterprises, rather than the morally and ethically correct approach that I am taking, is too great a risk.

4156436090_Alien_SpaceCraft_by_Greg700_xlargeI will say I have had some wonderful support from a group of people experienced in space and time travel as they have all been guests at one point or another of various aliens.  Most have promised that the next time one of them gets taken up they’ll ask to borrow some tech for me as they are sure that once it is explained what I am after these interstellar visitors will want to help.  Lovely, helpful fellows all and so handy that they all live together so near the hospital.  I mean space travel would be dangerous so it just makes sense for them to stay connected to a medical facility in case of interstellar injury.

So it seems that for now I must progress under my own steam but I will keep you updated on my progress not to progress in age and if I can help it at all maturity.  I like the idea of 45, solidly smack in the middle with all the benefits of being an adult comfortable in their own skin without the drawbacks that come as age starts to catch up with a body still housing the mind of someone in their 20’s.  Until then don’t forget the line from Steel Magnolias:

Time marches on and sooner or later you realise it’s marching over your face.


Weekly Writing Challenge:  The Golden Years

Posting in March

31 thoughts on “Birthday Muttering & The Space Time Continuum

  1. Lol Jenny. I want the time freezing tech……. but all i have to pay for it is lots of love……… or maybe I can find one of those vampires….. too many of them hanging out in my tv.


    • There does seem to be a rash of vampire inspired material on the TV – you know I never thought of that. Hmm well it’s something to look into should I fail to make progress with what I’m doing now. Will keep you updated. Jen


    • Sad but true and since I don’t like the concept of artificial enhancements I’m just going to go with the whole freezing time angle.

      I did mention in a previous concept that I did try the whole Audrey Hepburn ageing gracefully but I just don’t have the cheekbones.


  2. I’ll take the time freeze too, but first I would need a time-machine to take me back to 35. The day I turned 36 my butt suddenly decided to sag down to my heels. And from then on it’s only gone downhill.


    • Oh yeah gravity – nasty nasty gravity. I might think about working on that once I’ve conquered time and space. (it’s always best to be confident in these matters I feel)


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  12. This brilliant post makes my heart smile! I could picture this working great as a humorous performance piece for the stage. Hope you are looking forward to a lovely birthday. 😉


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