Object to the Object


Why is it that men always seem to have some deep and abiding affection for a piece of furniture or art that’s only function in life should be to appear in the ‘Worst Decorating Mistakes of All Time’.

It is not enough to carry this piece from home to home it must take a place of pride  – so that all who visit are confronted by its … well at times there are just no words that seem to fit.

You try over time to confine it to a back room or even fingers crossed the garage.  In our last move I was blessed with a shed – OUT THE BACK – yippee and quietly stashed the offending object ‘carefully’ at the back of the shed behind the Christmas Decorations. Didn’t work, I woke up one morning to find it sitting in the lounge and my husband saying those movers put it in the shed and that we should complain because it could have been damaged (Oh goddess, one can only hope)

Do you see what I mean

Do you see what I mean

 

Somehow, my husband who barely notices what color the sheets or towels are and if asked to describe the lounge would most likely say – it has couches and a TV and consider it full description, always notices this one painting and it’s placement.

This truly awful craft version oil paint of Buddha has dogged my footsteps from house to house and I have finally had to resort to giving over a piece of the house to Michael as his sanctuary/study that no others use and isn’t easily accessed by guests.  He actually asked me did I mind putting the painting in there with his other bits and pieces – to this day I still don’t know if he was joking with me or if he had truly remained oblivious to my antipathy toward that picture.

People say it is the thought that counts when it comes to gifts all I can say is whatever I did I’m sorry and WHAT WAS SHE THINKING ??????

Mothers and any others who give paint by the number religious pictures as a wedding gift should be rounded up  and placed in protective custody because:

The only thing worse than painting by numbers art

The only thing worse than painting by numbers art

 

  • They need to be stopped for their own good or they may progress to – I almost can’t bring myself to say it ‘clowns on velvet’.  Shiver…..ewwww

So what object do you object to that you can’t get rid of – no matter how much you wish you could?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DP Writing Challenge: Object

12 thoughts on “Object to the Object

    • Colorful – look at it too long and you’ll get bleeding on the brain or at the very least go blind. But I do appreciate the attempt to be polite … sigh … it really is awful isn’t it.

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  1. I’ve seen that picture before.. I think you can get it as a phone case.. I have only recently started exploring Buddhism so I’m not an expert but the symbolism here doesn’t like what you would really look for in a picture for your house.. Rainbows in Buddhism are associated with death for those that have severed their earthly ties (google ‘rainbow body’) while the laughing buddha is a symbol of happiness contentment prosperity and wealth. While laughing Buddhas therefore are prominently used, rainbows are less common. The laughing buddha is actually thought of as a representation of a future buddha that will come when the teachings of the previous buddha have been lost. So someone not yet born with a symbol related to death seems odd to me, though there may be a reason I haven’t understood.. Weird symbolism aside- it is very colourful and I understand why you aren’t a fan.. Great post, I enjoyed reading 🙂

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    • It’s not just the content of the picture – it’s …. shudder … paint by the number oil painting …. and your right you can find the image everywhere you turn around so why does it have to be in my house ….sulk…more sulking. Thanks for reading. Jen

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  2. There’s nothing quite like being ‘haunted’ by an object you can’t seem to get rid of. Paint by numbers can be neat, but most don’t make the best wall decor.

    Mine was my husband’s suit jacket. I used to call it the ‘carpet’. The texture was rough and it just had ‘old carpet’ written all over it. After about two or three years of always commenting on it and hiding it, my husband finally got rid of that nasty jacket, for me. Definitely not for him, as he still talks about that thing and how much he liked it.

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  3. After a long day at school I’ve come home to this hilarious post.

    Hmmmm, well we have this television that is at least thirty years old but is still kicking though it’s louder than the dryer. It’s been in almost every room in the house. No one has the heart to throw it out.

    I think the idea of it is comforting. With your husband, he’s had the painting for so long that it seems ridiculous to throw it out. These objects that we collect become us, unfortunately and much to the annoyance of the ones we love.

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  4. Honestly, most recliners are that ugly piece of furniture to me. My boyfriend insists and insists that we have one, and when I finally find a way to get rid of it another one appears!
    Do not get me started on his taste in art, though I have say, at least he does enjoy art, which is a good thing. 🙂

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